Silent treatments, similar to stonewalling, are both passive-aggressive forms of emotional abuse used as a mechanism by a manipulator to control the victim. Both stonewalling and silent treatment are kind of avoidance to deal with what’s going on in the first place.
It can also be used as a way of inflicting pain without visibly hurting someone but also as a tactic to avoid the problem and try to resolve it.
Silent treatments may start by stopping responding to someone or either ignore them. Silent treatment and gaslighting are miserable things to deal with; the victim may decide to deal with the problem or walk away.
By stonewalling, the person is using silence to manipulate you or force you to do something behaviorally. In the absence of words, they are actually communicating something to you through their silence.
You might have experienced silent treatments, and you feel you are totally fed up with your partner’s silent treatment, or there is someone who is stonewalling you. You can get frustrated and shut down when the other side you are trying to communicate with is not reciprocating.
They may sometimes be able not to just find words to express themselves. Research suggests stone walling or silent treatment is a sign of an issue that is not going well that the stonewaller can’t express her or his frustrations or feelings of anger.
The truth is, the stonewallers can’t verbalize frustrations, emotions and feelings. Moreover, it is going to be harder to resolve the problem until the expressions are disclosed.
Therefore, stonewalling is the number one killer of relationships.
But why would someone give you the silent treatment?
The one reason why the person might be doing these is that they are feeling insecure, they are riddled with insecurities, and they don’t know how to deal with the problem at hand.
Secondly, people might do these because they don’t know how to communicate and when this happens, it may signal their childhood experience. They might have been treated so by their parents or guardians, or they unconsciously adopted the attitude from their parents.
They might also do so maliciously for purposes maybe; perhaps they are unsettled being around you, and it is good for you to stay away from these people.
How to deal with stonewalling and silent treatment?
Discuss the matter openly
Firstly is that you need to openly disclose the reality with explicit questions on why they don’t speak up. In the end, however, you need to show that you are caring and collaborative and that you want the problem solved.
Sometimes, they feel at ease, depending on the degree of frustration they are experiencing, but it really shows the person that you are there, and you want the problem solved.
Most problems can be solved by strategic communications, and when you communicate with confidence and authenticity, you are able to get your message across. With stone walling and silent treatment, as the name describes, the notions must be dismantled with weapons of communication so you can figure out what is ailing the person get to the borne with it and find a solution together.
Don’t cave in
Don’t let the stonewallers bother you; when somebody is giving a silent treatment, it reflects their own insecurities and not about them at all, so keep that in mind.
Re-evaluate the relationship
Sometimes you need to work on yourself and refocus because possibly these people do not want to be around your energy. It is self-regulatory because “likes” attract “likes”. The stonewallers are not at the same level as you and won’t be around your energy.
It is important to note that nature abhors a vacuum. When these people distance themselves from you, and you reciprocate, the right people will start to appear in your life.