Breakup scars or emotional scars are an emotional pain the lovers, or romantic partners tend to feel when the relationship between themselves and those they hold dear comes to an end.
It can be short-term or long-term. It may appear in the form of grief and loss, depression, anger, denial and loneliness.
Normally starting a relationship is easy but maintaining that relationship for a certain period is an uphill battle to sustain. As an obligation, the two parties must invest their energy for the relationship to flow smoothly forward and move. The surprising fact in such a move rather is that the more energy and investments in different kinds of sustenance installed in the relationship, the harder it is going to pull out of the relationship and hence, the deeper the breakup scars taking long to heal will be when a break up is sealed.
In the proportionality where few relationships are meant to conflict-free model and the fact that those that seem to be happier are too challenged with the slights tendencies of conflicts and relationship hurdles throughout over the period of time, it is expectant that break up is likely and therefore breakup scars as an end result.
Albeit other mammals, humans ably survive in clubs or social groups in which kindness and solidarity are shared in unison. The social groups might be our friends, spouse, and generally the people we relate to.
It is from this perspective that we don't get the expectation, and we feel threatened and unacceptable by those that we expect to offer us social support. In relationship terms, when we are abandoned and break ties with those that we hold dear, we experience breakup scars.
Breaking up couples sometimes can hardly accept the fact that they are really pulling themselves apart and, therefore, that period marks the end of the relationship and everything. Studies have found that only a small majority of relationship partners are able to let their lovers or partners peacefully part ways with dignity and boldness.
According to the TED talk by Psychologist Guy Winch, psychological health must be maintained to deal with mental scars the same way we maintain our body on a daily basis in what he described as "mental hygiene".
With illustrations, he proposes, for instance, we must deal with mental scars, in general, the same way we brush our teeth every day and bathe our bodies.
What should we teach our children about emotional hygiene?
"We spend more time taking care of the teeth than we do for our minds. It's because we people tend to value our physical health more than our mental health," the TED talk psychologist said, giving a general overview of mental scars.
According to him, people are likely to severely suffer psychological injuries that the visibly seen injuries that could result from loneliness, rejection and failures. And these scars can affect people's lives in different ways.
Even though there are proven techniques to treat these psychological injuries, psychologists have found out that people cannot actually reach their target of healing breakup scars on their own.
"Some people will tell you to shake off whatever is in your head. Can you tell someone with a broken leg to move on? Once we are convinced of something, it is very hard to change our mind, and therefore our mind becomes demoralized after the failures," he supposes.
David Essel, the M.S., the best-selling author of 9 books, a counsellor and an inspirational speaker whose work focuses on celebrities, asserts his belief that breaking up scars from past relationships is a hard task to do for ourselves and, therefore, we need inclusion of the professional counsellor and a coach to trace the root of the problem so for anyone to be able to go away with break up scars.
The breakup scars are invisible, but mental therapists like Essel have found out that "the scars a relationship leaves behind" are more serious compared to other bodily harm sensations.