Have you ever felt confused about why certain people decide to pick specific persons over and over again? Then it's time you know why.
Nonetheless, the type of person we date speaks a lot about our behaviourism, taste and preferences. When it comes to soul mates, however, research suggests that we tend to choose people who are not only similar to us in personalities but those who are a copy-paste of our past lovers.
So don't be struck to find that several exes share similarities to the people'speople's current partners. These are perhaps because people hold grudges about the life stressful events and emotions from the relationship dissolution, as experts argue.
In support of these, the stressful life events carried with emotional baggage from the relationship dissolution is a major trigger why people decide to choose people who tend to have similar features and personalities. Yet, holding on to past emotions constitutes aggravating stressful events and a major factor that complicates satisfaction in future relationships. Additionally, the relationship dissolution will negatively impact the satisfaction of the future relationship.
Simply put, the nature of the relationship dissolution has a meaning to the satisfaction of future relationships. That'sThat's to say, the worse we feel about our exes after relationship dissolution, the more satisfactorily we feel about the current relationship and vice-versa.
The findings by Christopher P. Pagundes indicated that the ex who showed a negative reaction after break-ups had less emotional baggage in the next relationships than those who responded with reserve.
Consequentially, people who date persons with similar personalities risk finding themselves in similar stressful events, and a cycle of emotions, possibly because relationships tend to have some degree of similarity coupled with ups and downs.
As love is unpredictable, so is the dating scene, where people tend to choose people they would not have dated. Likely, the qualities of people they say they want in love are finally not the ones they choose in the end.
As the article of the BBC Future Why your type might be your ex-partner, it is put that there are higher chances of choosing a person similar to those we dated before despite the tendency that we might do it out of our wish.
"Whether you like it or not, a partner who is active for you is probably more like your ex than you would prefer to acknowledge. However, the article explains that your type can also be a good match for your personality.
As Robin Dunbar, the renowned British relationship expert, believes people must have similar tastes for them to have successful relationships that would last for a long time.
On a similar note, whether it is a relationship or friendship, people must be interested in the same things and share similar character in life; without it, the partner would always disagree.
Another research by Yoobin Park and Geoff MacDonald published in the National Academy of Sciences found that some people might have a specific type of people they want to date on simultaneous dates.
As per the Yoobin research, we tend to have a similar type that we like, and similarly, certain special people tend to always like us.
According to the study, this is because we tend to attract the same people, and similarly, those people tend to choose us.
Reasons why we choose similar people
As earlier said and have been told that "opposites attract" where differences among people change during the marriage; instead, new research indicates that we fall for the people we are like-minded.
Previous studies have argued that people change each other as time goes on but, depending on the recent studies, tend to revert to the existing truth.
As Yoobin Park'sPark's study puts it, the phenomenon is that when the relationship ends, people attribute the break-up to their ex-partner's-partner's personality and decide they need to date a similar person instead of a different type of person.
"There is a tendency that people continue to date a similar personality," the report writes.
In every relationship, people learn strategies for working with their partner'spartner's personality. If your new partner'spartner's personality resembles your ex-partner's-partner's personality, transferring the skills you learned might be an effective way to start a new relationship.
Fun and enjoyment
One of the people that choose like-minded people is the chemistry between the two people when they meet. Here we can say laughter and enjoyable interactions would make people repeatedly fall for the same person.
Like-minded people like each other too
All we know is that we don'tdon't choose ourselves, neither do other people choose themselves but on this point, likeness might come reciprocally on both sides. On the other hand, when our choices are not reciprocated, automatically, it becomes unrequited love, but for the specificity of likeminded, there are high chances they will like you back.
Self-actualization
As Martin's Buber'sBuber's conception purports, the relationship partners could otherwise hide aspects of the self to create greater wholeness. Also, according to Abraham Maslow, people have personal views towards their loved ones, making them fall for the same people over time.
A reminder
One recent research also indicated that people prefer the persons who remind them of their past partners over those who do not believe in the new term ''transference'', where emotions of the past relationship are transferred into the current relationship.
On top of that, it was found that people would rather go for those who resemble their parents than their mates who do not. On this point, people will fall for the same person repeatedly.