It's been a few weeks after the wedding, but instead of excitement and happiness, the newly married are feeling the opposite. They start to feel hopeless and have feelings that tell them it's finally over. They get anxious that it will never be the same again, and sometimes they will never feel excited about anything regarding the wedding mood, and yet that euphoria was a gem for them.
Now, there have been feelings of despair and stress since the wedding day. They started to wish I could at least enjoy that feeling for quite a long period of time.
When they woke up the next day, they felt as if it was the best sleep of their life. They wake up wondering whether the grief and anxiety have gone away, but unfortunately, the thing has not gone away, and it is fresh and new now, like before.
They say a wedding is one of the few occasions of a person that comes once in a lifetime, but nothing is perfect 100%. Of course, marriage is good, but it brings the negative effects when it comes to the final day of celebrations.
Post-wedding marriage blues are not scientifically proven, but they are commonly known as a mental disorder.
According to Marriage.com, post-wedding anxiety is common after marriage. They come with loneliness, grief, and a combination of despair, and that experience might be because you didn't really get to know your spouse enough.
Post-wedding marriage anxiety is common among newlyweds; however, the experience can also be experienced by people who have been in marriage for quite a long time, according to mental experts.
One scary thing about post-marriage blues is that it can happen even after weeks, months and months, and years. There is no gender that is specific to the marriage blues, and it can happen to both men and women.
Marriage.com website gives accounts for the causes of the post-wedding marriage jitters as a result of falling excitement and fear that the expectation in the marriage will never be true. This fear is rational to a certain extent, and sometimes marriage is not exciting as couples hope to be. On other accounts, post-wedding anxiety is a fear that they will never love their spouses anymore.
In addition, post-wedding anxiety is also caused by the ups and downs experienced during the marriage day, and the newlyweds feel a bit sad when they remember the marriage celebration and the past memories of families and friends.
Janelle S. Peifer, a licensed clinical psychologist, says people feel post-wedding marriage because they are shuttered by stress and future concerns of life transitions.
Peifer says during the post-wedding marriage blues, people feel overwhelmed and blank and experience some regrets.
In these post-wedding marriage blues, people feel as if they have nothing exciting to look for in life. Chances are also high that you are going to feel intense feelings when you return to normal stressful life, that's to say, job responsibilities and everyday duties.
The study by Scott and Stafford found that at least 12 per cent of newly married people experienced grief and depression after six months of marriage.
Signs of post-wedding blues
Not getting enough sleep
Having hardness in concentrating on work
Stalking the exes despite the fact you might be over them now
A feeling of exhaustion
Causes of the post-wedding blues
The veil is lifted after marriage
During the post-wedding marriage period, there is a lot of truth disclosed behind the curtains, but this hidden information does not last for long until it is revealed. And once the celebration comes to an end, the reality is unveiled, and regrets take place.
Focus on career
Many couples, after marriage, start to care less about the relationship and refocus their attention on careers. They may start to feel worried, and the experience may cause mental contraction and then grief at that change.
Change of course in relationship
A lot of changes take place after marriage, and the shift can also lead to post-wedding depression and possess the obviousness of resentfulness as to why change is taking place at such a speedy turnaround.
How to manage post-wedding marriage blues
Focusing on other big projects after marriage could be a deal breaker towards preventing the post-wedding blues. Here both short and long-term can work. It isn't for everyone, but if you want something great, you need to talk about it.
Openness about the matter
Talking about the feelings and talking about them to others will help you always mitigate the consequences of pre-wedding marriage anxiety. It can be better to discuss the matter with family members and friends. By applying these approaches, the problem is half solved.
Write a journal
Get a paper and write feelings about the post-wedding feelings and post on Instagram or other social media accounts. Be honest about your feelings with your partner, but if the feelings become unmanageable, you should consult a professional mental doctor.
Focus on your long-term relationships
Paying attention to the long-term relationship goals will help you continue striving for other wonderful moments with your partner together. It's crucial talking to your partner in the periods after your wedding day.
However, not all newlyweds carry to experience the same levels of grief and depression after marriage. Hence some couples are affected more than others.
The most affected hardest hit of the post-wedding marriage grief is "blues". On the other hand, happy couples do not feel the same experience on the same level. This is because the "blues" are worried if they made the right choice, a factor that is more serious and dangerous than the "happy's" who are worried about the aftermath of the wedding day, which is easily resolved than those questioning whether they made the right choices.
Unfortunately, the pre-wedding blues have been attributed to the major causes of future divorce and marital dissatisfaction.
Final thoughts
It is better for the couples to discuss the post-wedding marriage grief or seek a professional psychiatrist when the feeling intensifies or seems to last longer than normal. It is also always the best advice for couples to discuss the issue among themselves on an initial basis.