Would you ever be blamed for just speaking out your feelings, ridiculed, shamed, or become stigmatized because of the expressivity you just showed up in a singular communication or a group setting?
Then you are not alone. But whenever the communicator expresses her or himself with fear of reaction, then that is the opposite of verbal intimacy.
In most instances, people who express themselves openly are controversially criticized for such unwelcome expressions. They are forced to correct themselves in explicit or implied means because what they said was embarrassing or regarded as abuse, taboo, or merely unethical to disclose utterly.
The word source of intimacy itself comes from the Latin language Intimare which means innermost feelings. It is also defined in the dictionary as a closely acquainted, familiar, something of a personal or private nature.
In accordance with the verbal intimacy definition, the person communicating in the conversations must feel accepted no matter what he or she reveals. It is a type of communication involving complete openness toward one another. Intimacy definition and meaning perceptively entails the absolute honesty in the environment that all the unsaid secrets a person can present are heard without fear of being vulnerable.
As put forward by relationship expert Dr Neil Clark Warren, verbal intimacy is the most important indicator of a successful long-term relationship. He describes it as a more important factor in committed relationships.
He believes a person is dating and seeking a partner with whom they can pursue a successful relationship, and verbal intimacy is a factor to look at.
Warren argues that verbal intimacy will indicate whether a person is right for you and ready for a serious relationship.
"There is no more important task than determining if your current date has the ability to share their views verbally on a deep and intimate level," he notes.
Dr Warren demonstrates "verbal intimacy" as the sharing of our deepest fears, joys, and inner experiences and as a great way to learn about the interior of our potential partners.
He argues the relationship can start without verbal intimacy and continue for months and sometimes years without either partner giving time or consideration to its outcomes but over time, Dr Warren says, "the relationship will collapse."
"Unless both partners commit to enhancing their verbal intimacy," he further adds.
As put forward by the Fountains Counseling Center, the key element behind verbal intimacy is self-disclosure which involves sharing thoughts, goals, plans, ideas, dreams and passions.
"Couples who share verbal intimacy can take any topic of conversation and enjoy their conversation," the Article Titled Working On Intimacy published on January 19, 2021, writes.
Some research suggests that openness in oneself to a spouse contributes to marriage satisfaction between partners.
In her book, Self-disclosure: Theory, Research, and Therapy, Mary Anne Fitzpatrick, a Professor at the University of South California in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication, supports the idea by corroborating the impact of verbal intimacy created in established relationships.
She writes about the extreme opening of couples without reserves, with the efforts of both couples leading to positive outcomes for their marriage.
"The degree of self-disclosure seems to lead to more satisfaction in marriage," she writes.
According to research, however, an open style of communication is sometimes likely to violate the autonomy and privacy of the emotions among some couples.
Furthermore, some studies have set an exception indicating the dangers associated with openness and disclosing information among the partners, especially in blue-collar marriages where the information would shake the relationship negatively.
The classic study by Mira Komarovsky highlights self-disclosure and open communication as disadvantageous on the flip side. In her studies, she discloses the reality that although verbal intimacy is central to satisfactory functioning in some marriages, the kind of expression might actually cause problems.
How to boost verbal intimacy skills
Well, you must know that engaging in verbal intimacy with your partners can not automatically work itself toward the end of the road. Yes, certain engagements must be tried out to skillfully build that intimacy.
Practice comfortability
There must be freeness among the two partners so that they to communicate intimately on deeper levels. By doing these, the couple's skills to communicate on a deeper level will flawlessly move forward.
Share secrets
You might have tried to communicate with someone on deeper levels, and then it backfires in the moves. It's then the time that you start to engage each other on deeper levels. The honest conversation will boost trust among each of you, and through sharing deeper conversations, you intimately engage others verbally on a deeper level.
Creating space for verbal intimacy
You should keep in mind that cell phones, gadgets and computers are the top distracters, especially for someone who would want to deeply talk to each other on deeper levels. On the other hand, for verbal intimacy to thrive, we must avoid being distraught.
Engage in deep and serious talk
Another way to build verbal intimacy is not only to talk about the romances but also to engage in serious conservation will make verbal intimacy successful. Here couples could engage in talks about future life, including the fate of family properties, talk about whether you would wish to have children or not and family inheritances.
Within these engagements, serious talks and subjects will create fertile ground for intimate conversations, and therefore intimate skills will be fostered toward the move.
Connect mentally
All in all, one of the best ways to skillfully have a deeper conversation is to connect with each other both mentally and physically levels. Without these two, the conversations will not have to be dry and have limitations.